I find life and joy in placing myself in proximity to renewal.
I’m a freelance writer of fiction and non-fiction. I write from a faith perspective and hope to always offer encouragement.
Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, I post on topics about immersing yourself into the work of renewal around the World.
I want to offer the hope I cling to. Everyone can make a difference.
I love your voice, comments, everything about you! One of my favorite things about writing is the friendships I have made and the strength and wisdom of your voices.
I grew up in a small town near the shore of Lake Michigan. My Grandpa taught me to have a deep connection to history and the contours of faith through generations. Through my parents work, I often found myself exposed to marginalized people. My parents offered an open door to those in need. I developed a longing and a hope to make a difference in the lives of others. I have witnessed the transforming and life-giving hope of Christ, in my own life and in the lives of people that seemed to have no hope.
I have held fast to the hope that one day I could use my love of writing to give a voice to those in need and that seek hope.
My own voice has been quieted for over a decade. I have struggled with asking for help.
Growing up in the church, later to become the wife of a pastor, I tried to hold close all I felt inside. Though, I believe often unintentional, the church can find unkindness. The hours of the night I exhausted in worry. I searched for a God I had once felt so close too. I felt a flat plane, alone in my mind.
I lived small, frightened to make mistakes.
I wrote this passage from The Message in my journal. As I felt darker inside, I ceased writing, which I have always most loved to do.
2 Corinthians 6: 11-13 “I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter into this spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feels comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small but you’re living in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively.”
On a family vacation in Northern Minnesota, my son, then a one year old, woke at dawn each morning with the calling loons. To not wake the relatives, we would walk in quiet up a winding forest path. Deer would stare at us in close distance. In that quiet, I felt a flicker of breath return. I did not act on that feeling of life, but I thought of it often.
When I returned home, I spent a year dreaming about a house that continually revealed new rooms.
I never told, anyone, how I felt. Dear girlfriends opened up their lives to me. These friends enfolded me, just as I was. I realized how hidden I had been. Veiled in places of solitude I carved for myself. Only, these places of solitude were dark, lonely, and full of worry. I did not sleep, worrying that I might not have been kind enough, that someone might not like me. I finally found courage to tell my husband. I need help. I’m not making it. He did for me what I could not do for myself and made me an appointment.
I have an imbalance. I was not supposed to need this kind of help. I thought I might stop breathing the first time I accepted help. Medication, along with dependence on God, and exercise corrected my imbalance. I share this to give others the courage to ask for help, there is no shame in admitting our weaknesses, actually it helps make us stronger.
My compulsion to worry in a way that paralyzed me, subsided.
Dark places turned to vivid color. I felt as though I was breathing again.
God was still with me, he was not ashamed of me.
I have a dream. I have butterfly wings and am trying with all my strength to squeeze through a crack of light. I break free and am soaring over landscape. I come to broken earth, a small shack, inside coal pressed up the wall. A little girl comes to me, recognizes me. I sit there looking at her, wings brushing the dirt. There is deep recognition between her and I, we will always be a part of one another.
Shortly after I came upon this passage from The Message:
Psalm 18:19 He stood me up in an open field; I stood there saved-surprised to be loved.
I am so thankful to stand on new ground. I write from a place of deep humility. I am utterly imperfect and still God loves me. My prayer is that God might establish the work of my hands to bring life and hope to others.
God can do more than we can ask or imagine in finding our life purpose. I began writing again and am now a freelance writer.
I think a formal portrait does not accurately portray my family. Honestly, there is not one to be had where we all look normal at the same time. I am all about keeping it real and this is us!
My family helps me laugh every day. We enjoy hiking and going on adventures that usually include a mishap or two. I am thankful for my husband Kris and his kind heart, wise direction, and gentle spirit. My daughter Ellie and my son Josiah teach me to smile often and not take myself so seriously.