Mend Our Fractures

I am addicted to using a smiley face emoticon. I don’t think I even do it right. I do it like a sideways smile.

Behind every statement I make, I want to put it in bold.  If I didn’t restrain myself the back of every sentence I write would look like this:  🙂 🙂 🙂 :).   I do not use it in about proximity but everywhere else I terribly overuse that sweet sideways smile.

Four, is four enough? I want people to know I come in peace. I want to people to know that I love them.  I want them to know I desire for my words to encourage and bring hope. Not, 😦 .

The availability to use it plays on all my obsessive weaknesses to have no one mad at me.

Trying not to use it is like trying

  • not to eat the whole bag of peppermint patties
  • or the super-size box of junior mints
  • or not ordering nachos bell grande at Taco Bell
  • or saying no to dessert

Refraining from the smiley face just seems quite impossible to me.  I feel like I should use it less excessively. For me, it reflects my still fear that others are not going to like what I write. That someone might be offended if my words are not perfect.  Then, I remember I am not perfect and all these feelings are impossible.

Insisting on using that smiling face for me reveals distrust. I don’t trust myself to be all that God made me to be. I want to fortify everything I do with that smile face.  In reality, I think my heart is enough. I can use the smiley face, but I should not feel compelled to after every sentence. We can trust one another to know we speak in love.

I was reading this night’s past, a Psalm of David, in the time of war.

Psalm 60: 2

You have shaken the land and torn it open; mend its fractures, for it is quaking.

MEND ITS FRACTURES

I kept running that through my head over and over again.

Mend our fractures Lord, the places where we don’t feel good enough, where we construct extra fortifications. Mend our fractures. Amen.

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